Sweet Child of Mine

I grew up with a big family. I have four siblings and I am right in the middle of them. Some of my favorite times of year are when we all get together. During these times together, my oldest brother can get bossy and take the (unwanted) lead. This is typically when someone will tease, “Who are you the boss of?” Family in ear shot will usually erupt with roaring laughter.

Left: "Boss of his Teddy Bear"
Right: My older sister!
Center: Yours truly

Years and years ago, when we were all just tiny, my brother would boss my sister and me around. His directives were typically met with doe-eyed stares; we were just babes! This is when my mom would coach him on just who he was the boss of.

“Alright, now. Who are you the boss of?” she would quiz.

His preschooler response: “Me and my teddy bear!”

This story shot to my mind when I saw the title of the article I read this week: Who Is the Boss? by Dr. Richard Miller. “It was not my brother and his teddy bear…” I thought with a chuckle.

Although a humorous story, it is one that has truth at its roots. From early on in my parents’ marriage, they knew “who was the boss” and established that, even to the sweetest, tiniest of foes. Growing up, I knew my parents counseled together and led our family by the Spirit. They kept my siblings and I on course.

Keeping us “on course” took many shapes and forms. Discipline was one of the biggest tools used. This wasn’t always something severe by any means. A quote from Spencer W. Kimball fits well in describing it. “Discipline is probably one of the most important elements in which a mother and father can lead and guide and direst their children.” They used this to lead, guide, and direct us.

Growing up, I was told from my parents that I had “a sharp tongue.” This was especially true in my teenage years. If crossed, I would say some of the harshest things. I cringe looking back and remembering some of them. It is within this experience I remember the no-frills discipline from my mom. One particular instance, she told me, “Emma, you are beautiful on the outside, but sometimes, the things you say make you look ugly.” Initially, I was insulted; “How dare she!” Hindsight, I was embarrassed because it was true.

My Momma and me back in the day. Bless her heart!

Over a decade later, I still remember this. My pride was hurt. She shattered my self-perception with laser focus. She was like Luke Skywalker shooting a torpedo in the vent to take down the Death Star. (Spoiler: that single shot blew the ENTIRE thing up.) Despite my feelings, I knew it was rooted in love, but it shook to the core. My mother knew what to say to get her drama queen teen to listen and it worked. This discipline worked because my mother knew me.

In Dr. Miller’s article, he quotes Joseph F. Smith, saying the following:

God forbid that there should be any of us so unwisely indulgent, so thoughtless and so shallow in our affection for our children that we dare not check them in a wayward course, in wrong-doing and in their foolish love for the things of the world more than for the things of righteousness, for fear of offending them.

I have no idea what I was saying to whom when my mother gave me such piercing counsel. But, frankly, it doesn’t matter. Because she loves me, she parented in the necessary way to teach me. Because she loves me, she corrected my course. And that’s why she (and my dad) are the boss.