Pride: Coming to a Marriage Near YOU

Pride is an iconic flaw that often afflicts some of our favorite characters in entertainment. Prince Adam, in Beauty and the Beast, allowed his pride to keep him from sheltering an old woman (which led to his dismal circumstances). From Star Wars, Anakin’s (aka Darth Vader’s) pride catapulted him to become everything he had sworn to destroy. The Evil Queen in Snow White was compelled to murder because she was dead-set determined to be the “fairest of them all.” Lastly, one of my favorites, Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. Those knuckleheads almost let their pride get in the way of their love! (Those dummies.)

In consuming these different forms of media, I will find myself frustrated with characters for their silly follies of pride. “Why can’t they just get over themselves?” or “My heavens, why are you being so dumb?” are often the questions that run through my head. It should be simple right? From the outside, looking in, we have all the answers.

With our marriages, however, the contents of our love story aren’t produced or published for the masses. No one is following along saying, “Man, I hope Emma stops wearing her butt as a hat and pulls it together.” The only things cheering for our success or rooting for our demise are those qualities we invite into the dynamic. Because my sweet husband, Neal, is married to me, pride got itself a front row ticket in our marriage.

When we remember what is important
in our marriage, overcoming
pride can become easier. 

In the realm of books and film, there wouldn’t be much of a story if the characters swallowed their pride and moved along. That wouldn’t have much entertainment value. Thankfully, our marriages don’t have this same purpose. On the flip side, we also don’t have the luxury of “writing off” a quality, like pride, when its inconvenient. Marriage would be easy if we didn’t have our own character flaws to overcome. It is within our power to keep them from becoming our hamartia.

My husband and I are coming up on eleven months of marriage. We are fresh to this game. There hasn’t been a major instance where pride has reared its head between us, but pride is a sneaky, slippery sucker. President Ezra Taft Benson, in his Beware of Pride address said, “Our motives for the things we do are where the sin is manifest.” It can quickly cross into dangerous territory if we aren’t aware of our motivations; our internal dialogue.

We can have a happy ending in our own stories when we can learn and apply the antidotes to these poison apples in our marriage. President Benson continues by telling us that to combat pride we need to implement, “humility—meekness, submissiveness.”

A classmate of mine once talked about the concept of our marriages being grounds for us to learn Christ-like qualities. In the privacy of our own partnerships, we can develop, refine, and perfect ourselves in humility. We can become the most humble people we know. (Did you catch that irony?) What a better person to go through this process with than your eternal co-star?